Picky Eaters During Holiday Meals

Allegra Bereszniewicz M.S., CCC-SLP/QOM

This time of year can be tough when you have a child who is a picky or problem eater. It’s full of extended family gatherings where the bulk of the focus tends to be on eating specific, traditional foods. Not to mention the experience on a whole can be very overstimulating for your little ones (not to mention you!)

Here are some reasons that the holidays can be difficult for your child:

• A lot of people- some your child may know and feel comfortable with and others that may be new and unfamiliar to them.
• A new or different space- If you are traveling, just the act of getting to your destination can be overwhelming. If you are hosting--their familiar space and environment is now different, filled with a lot of people, noises and things (i.e. foods, decorations, etc.)
• New and different foods- the foods being offered may be completely new or presented in a different way that is unfamiliar.
• Certain expectations- although most family members and friends mean well, they sometimes have expectations on behaviors and eating habits that can create added pressure for your child.
• Off-routine- Your day to day is typically pretty routine but during the holidays, routines tend to be relaxed and children don’t necessarily know what’s to come next.

Here are a few strategies to implement this holiday season:

• Talk it through!- Use the time before and between holidays to really prepare your child for what’s to come. Share the holiday magic and make it fun and exciting but also informative so they know what to expect.
  • Show them pictures and videos from previous years or relatives that they will see during the holidays to help them get ready.
  • Do the same with what foods they can expect to see and smell during holiday meal times—show them pictures and maybe cook some dishes together in the weeks leading up to the holidays!
  • Provide verbal and visual schedules to help them know what the day(s) will look like from an activity standpoint to help them prepare.
  • Continue to talk everything through as it happens. For example, if you are in the car traveling to a relative’s house, talk about what they can expect when you arrive, who they will see and ask questions to check in for understanding!
• Limit changes as best you can-This can be tricky so give yourself grace too!
  • Try to maintain portions of your routine to help not to overwhelm your child—for example nap and meal times.
  • Try offering food during typical meal times that are preferred and familiar foods that your child feels safe with.
  • Ask them what safe and comforting toys they want to select for the trip to accompany them.
• Adjust meals-
  • Feel free to feed your child their typical meals or snacks prior to the “Holiday Meal” so that they are not hungry and frustrated by the time the main meal comes.
  • During Family/Holiday meals encourage your child to sit with the family but try offering 1-2 preferred and familiar foods during this time so that not all the offered foods are new or novel!
  • You can incorporate a “learning” plate into holiday meal times where the novel foods can be placed but your child is not “expected” to eat it. Instead they can learn about it from a sensory standpoint (i.e. smelling, touching, licking it) or how it was prepared or grown.
  • Try to shift the focus of the holidays away from eating and instead spending time with those around you, that way your little one does not feel overly pressured to eat new or non-preferred foods, which can lead to difficult behaviors.

And one last thing, it’s only 1 day so give yourself grace if your child eats less than usual or is only eating mac and cheese. Enjoy the day and time with those you love!